Alhamdulillah

 Hi to who ever read my blog, how are you hope you all are fine and happy. Just to wish myself happy birthday well this year nothing much to celebrate because fall on weekdays and I not feeling well. 

Since on Sunday my chest and body felt poking and heaty inner pain so I need too cool down myself not easy but have too. You all can imagine if ur mental keep talking to u today u gonna die or keep telling is it now 🥹🤦‍♀️. 

As pernormal keep distract myself do housework but still the feeling scared still there. 

I keep recite doa whichever i can but still same. So I wait at night eat my medicine force to sleep. The next day body felt fatigue and i just wish for a hug to ease the pain but to bad no one to hug so i hug my pillow than get ready to go work. 

It’s a lie if my anxiety gone just like that it will still on off with me. I will distract by listen music and force myself to close eyes and sleep inside mrt. 

Yesterday still the same feeling keep fighting myself and also I do the same routine force to sleep by medicine and today my body fatigue like one to sleep only but cannot need to go work. 

Moral of the story don’t play with anxiety and panic attack it’s real and the trauma will change ur 360 degree life. Take care ur health you won’t know when ur body nerve want to shutdown. 

Anyway I will talk about the new me once everything goes smooth.. This journey will be my another level to go tru.. hope before me close eyes this journey I will pass tru it. Love story will have a pause again till when I no idea too. 

The End… 

At last..

Last Friday went to polyclinic for my sensitive area pain and eyes pain, but all this need to book appointment with specialist. As usual after 3 days than received sms from NUH for the eyes problem have to wait April 2025. Hope my eyes prob still can on off the tiny floating and zzz bling2. Last Tuesday we at work very bz spring cleaning until my body fatigue, I felt so sad I just clean little bit also my body felt pain already and the panic also want to attack I keep control it. The next day since my sensitive area still pain and body fatigue no choice unpaid again. Well for now I just want to let it out without powerbank and the cable my life also feel miserable 😜. Actually can charge use my own the normal cable, but it just too far from me keke. 
This week my emo and insomnia attack back again nevermind maybe my PMS on way so alot of rollercoaster mood I need to bare. May this coming Feb my mood won’t down because my birthday month no idea my plan will happened or not but let’s see how it just to pampered myself and make my confident boost up again.
or not but let’s see how it just to pampered myself and make my confident boost up again. 

The End…

 

Dec 2024 heart pain,but with smiles

Hi everyone, I’m here just to share normally the month of December will be my every year looking forward to Ohana Holidays. Well, I guess by now some of you know already that December will be my father's birthday month and my little brother's birthday month for both my favorite men. 

This year Hamzah plan something different we're going two places, and of course I agreed because KL and Kuching Sarawak have Anding we all haven't met him since COVID, so I can imagine how long already. We only keep in touch by IG or WhatsApp, alah just like both each other's posts and a few DMs by commenting on them. Oh, by the way, Sarawak, only 3 people went. We cut the trip short because my little brother left his cap at KL and also while at Sarawak out in ternary, boring more to healing marathon drama and eating. 

Ok I cut the story short. After we spent time with Anding on Saturday morning until afternoon, we went back to KL again. Anyway, I just want to say thank you, Anding for bringing us around for a while and treating us like your own family. 

We stay for another few days before we get back,Singapore 

Ok, now let’s share about the situation ship and what happened in the end. The person married his choice, the ex-girlfriend at last, and the best part is that his wedding date falls on my dad's birthday, which is very easy for me to remember their anniversary soon. Oh, this is the best part of how I made that will be my last day to meet and see him from far just to respect and no war on his big day. Yes, I am someone who loves to see my beloved married, even though my heart is broken into what I also don’t know keke. But that is the best feeling for me, so that all I see with my own eyes.

Well, for now, I’m trying my best to distract my feelings, even though thought I know it's very hard to move on, but I will try my best by busying myself and focusing on my next Hijra journey. Being on that path also has a lot of obstacles; I need to be strong with it. May Allah will always protect me and forgive me. So for now we just be game friends; nothing much. As for me, I will always have my own boundaries when all this situation comes in. For someone like me at my current age, switching on and off the emo button really is not easy; it is very fatigue. When crying more also tired than if never cry also feel pain the eyes too dry suddenly🤦‍♀️

Later, I will continue again… 

Happy New Year, everyone! This year, for the first time, I started work late, 1 week. I still haven't told my boss I got MC for 1 year due to my condition. The truth is, can I still want to work as per normal? Just this, I might work on off instead of 4 days or 5 days in a week again. This kind of thing is not easy for me. I need $ for some bills and essentials for both of us. Well, for now, I still reconsider about it. 

The End…

Learning to be someone lonely..

 Learning to be alone without being lonely is a valuable life skill that can bring numerous benefits. Here are some tips to help you cultivate this skill:

*Embracing Solitude*

1. *Practice self-reflection*: Spend time understanding your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This will help you develop a better understanding of yourself.

2. *Engage in solo activities*: Find hobbies or interests that you enjoy doing alone, such as reading, writing, painting, or playing music.

3. *Take solo trips*: Traveling alone can be a great way to challenge yourself and discover new places without relying on others.

*Building Self-Sufficiency*

1. *Develop a routine*: Establish a daily routine that includes time for work, rest, and leisure activities.

2. *Learn to cook and take care of yourself*: Acquire basic life skills like cooking, cleaning, and managing your finances.

3. *Stay connected with nature*: Spend time outdoors, whether it's walking, hiking, or simply sitting in a park.

*Cultivating Inner Peace*

1. *Practice mindfulness and meditation*: Regular mindfulness practice can help you stay present and focused.

2. *Focus on personal growth*: Set goals and work towards personal development, whether it's learning a new skill or improving your physical health.

3. *Practice gratitude*: Reflect on the things you're thankful for each day, no matter how small they may seem.

*Embracing the Benefits*

1. *Increased self-awareness*: Spending time alone can help you develop a better understanding of yourself and your values.

2. *Improved mental clarity*: Solitude can provide an opportunity for reflection and introspection, leading to greater mental clarity.

3. *Enhanced creativity*: Alone time can foster creativity, as you're not influenced by others' opinions or distractions.

By incorporating these tips into your daily life, you can learn to appreciate and enjoy alone time without feeling lonely.

Situationship

From Raya until May really my great happiness day after I open heart for someone that have many red flag. We know each other real live since my birthday. Well ok nevermind i cut short my story before we know each other the person actually process divorce already while waiting for the divorce case finish the person actually also in a rocky relationship with someone those time I still no feeling for him at all just be a listener and game fren only. 

After a few month we getting closer until one of the day meet up in person,told me I like u towards me. Im really shocked at that time my heart haven’t open yet until that moment I start to pray and a lot of my fren told me it’s time to open heart for someone that really want you not like last time I use too like first than in the relationship.

 So I start to open up slowly without realising it example, anything that got to do with him I will always be there for him even my family realise it haha. Well this one day, the person start to call me Sayang. I kept saying to him to keep it to himself  too bad he kept saying the word until I no word to say. After few days, I realised there’s some sparks between us about us in silent haha. Actually what I like about the person, he make me laugh and angry in silent and plus I know if i’m sick the person can really look after me. 

Here the best part the person and my fren brought me to prawning,first time in my life. Anything got to do with catching something must really bepatient. During those time we both really became like couple already only without official date.  This is where my confident lose hope, the ex girlfriend came back again and begging for him, n the end the person go back to the ex gf and I now stuck to move on. I’m someone once like or love hard to let go until I know the person happy with his own life and with the partner then I will feel ease mind and move on. 

So moral of the story SituationShip also not easy to handle sometimes it may change to be Inrelationship but rarely I guess.We girls/women need to be strong once we stuck with it. 

So you all can guess already wheather we both now became stranger or still contact each other,but with boundaries. Yes I do miss him but again all the end already. Thank you A for all the sweet sour memories. 

The End..

My Fav Month Feb 24

 All this made me smiles, birthday month I met all my special frens😃 actually have another pics but cannot publish it thanks to them for the birthday cake surprise very nice. 

Welcome 2024🫶

 

Here my Burung Hantu Clanz we plan go ate together and also welcome 2024 too. My wish for this year will be focus my health and workhard as much as I can because my work place want to shift place so alot thing need to be done. 

The End.. 

December 2023

 

This month we never go any holiday or staycation because my two brother’s went to hollywood long holiday so me, umi and my girl just went to sis in law house to bonding and small birthday October and December babies birthday😃. 

October Busy Month

 

Hi again everyone, this month busy day for me because my jobs duty need to be done by December. Well not easy for me as data entry, sorting and scanning lady. First this year my condition really at worst check up and unpaid whenever my body cannot bare the pain to go work. As per normal with this kind of situation my overthinking will be overwhelming scared to get warning letter because i know myself if i also became the boss also will headache with this kind of worker right. 

Anyway this month my miracle girl 17th birthday sorry Sayang I still cannot get any present for you as usual I only can dedicate song for u, so ur present wait December or January when the so call appraisal rezeki come in than will give u something that u want or need on that month. 

This month my insomnia, chronic constipation make me hard to sleep due of my back body pain and chest area pain no matter how I try to get good position to sleep in the end I will still awake. Well I just hope this coming November my condition will cool down little bit. 

Well actually this year I accidentally like someone and also accidentally ever tell him what’s my feeling. last time i'm someone hard to tell anyone or even tell the person that I have a crush/like on the person because I hate rejection 🤣 same goes to if I accidentally make someone to like me in silent too. Due of that I also became scared to make friend with guy. 

Oh2 what’s is happening to me is it because of my age and lonely🤦🏽‍♀️ well the person reply neither yes or no only by saying if fate then it will be and if not than nothing will happen something like that. So now what next for me i can still make new guy friend or cannot at all or just wait for the person real answer until he find someone special than I move on oh no I hate this so call overthinking guilty feeling. 

Anyway even if one day I might have a chance to be with someone that can sparkle my heart again i will still the boring gf/wife for that person just hope that person can accept me who I am. 

The End.. 

September Over Whelming

Hi anyone miss my story 🤭. Here it goes I will share about Newboyz Concert And Ohana Bali Trip. 

Well I guess everyone know already me and Ohana cannot make it to NB Concert due of clash with our Bali Holidays to celebrate advance umi birthday and adik hamzah birthday. People asked me any regret holiday instead concert, well I said no Im fine because at bali really my relaxing day even have to awake early morning just to go jalan2 and makan2 until bloated hehe. Anyway even while we at bali those tomokianz/nbianz my adik2 still updated what’s going on at there. Im glad they all happy and really disciplined themselves too. 

Here some bali pics just for memories: 

Here pics NBIANZ

                                             

        

 

                                     

                                                     

          

I will like to say to my Team Nbianz n Tomokianz thank you for welcome them and sent them too. 

The End.. 

Reunion with My MIRC Clanz

Hi everyone thanks for still reading my blog, hope you all are fine.Yesterday afternoon I went to expo watching my fave seni DK Barat. Two of my fav groups join in so call debate competition, first reason I miss to watch dk barat so long already due of my health and financial. Anyway overall my fav group win Mak Yong Kedek. 

After all done I wait for my mum to reach expo and we straight to aloha loyang chalet. Alhamdulillah everyone welcome us with great service 🤗. Imagine dah lama tak jumpa gitu mesti alot changes kan hehe. Well actually the one organised was for Sungai the Senior Channel for this clanz after that they open junior channel #RadioMelayu that’s where I know all this friend’s but now we just like family already. We play game all very supportive in this event all happy gitu. Hope will have next gathering again. Hope this time will have everyone too. Well I guess my storyline..

The End..

Positive Sibo

 My new journey and my medicine will arrive this 18. Now the problem is i scared the medicine big 🤦🏽‍♀️ and I not good with it sure alot of pressure I have to go through. 

Small intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO) is a frequent cause of IBS and one of the most common symptom experienced by SIBO patients is gas and bloating. This is due to hydrogen, methane, and hydrogen sulphide gas produced from fermenting bacteria in the small intestine.

These gases are not just uncomfortable, but they can also do damage to the several aspects of digestion

👉 they damage the brush border enzymes-- these enzymes sit in the small intestinal wall and facilitate the last step of digestion before you absorb your food. Without them, you experience even more bloating, inflammation, and often abdominal cramping

👉 they can "deconjugate" bile acids-- a process in which bile (necessary for fat digestion) is damaged -- this can lead to fat malabsorption including fat soluble vitamins and essential fatty acids

👉 gas can also destroy diamine oxidase (DAO), the enzyme necessary to break down food based histamine found in healthy foods such as fermented foods, spinach, and more. This often leads to histamine type symptoms such as

- Migraines/headaches

- Rashes

- Nasal congestion

- Hypotension (low blood pressure)

- Severe fatigue

- Diarrhoea/Constipation

👉 Leaky gut -- yes, SIBO can also cause the dreaded "intestinal permeability" leading to more food reactions, general inflammation, depression/anxiety etc

So treating SIBO is vitally important to get on the road to recovery. Luckily, once SIBO is treated (and prevented from coming back,) healing can be fairly rapid. I always advise tackling SIBO with an experienced SIBO practitioner. My new journey with Sibo🤗. 

#SIBO #SIBOTreatment #SIBOSymptoms #DigestiveHealth #GutHealth #HealthTips #LeakyGut #IBS

Sibo Test journey

Let’s talk about testing for SIBO!​​​​​​​​

​​​​​​​​

How do you test for SIBO? 🤔​​​​​​​​

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👉🏼 SIBO can only be diagnosed through a breath test - using the sugars lactulose or glucose. ​​​​​​​​

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👉🏼 Before you do the test, there’s a prep diet to follow for 1-2 days (2 days if you tend to be constipated). ​​​​​​​​

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👉🏼 After fasting overnight for 12 hours and consuming only water, you then drink the test sugar solution and breathe into the breath collection tubes every 20 minutes for 3 hours.​​​​​​​​

​​​​​​​​

👉🏼 The 3-hour collection time is important for seeing how the sugar travels through your small to your large intestine - and where the SIBO located (i.e. in the first part of the small intestine, or near the large intestine). ​​​​​​​​

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Do you suffer from SIBO? ​​​​​​​​

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🏷​​​

.​​​​​​ 10 am my test start but something happened, the nurse say my bla2 too high so wait 1 hr. 

 11am, I had to drink the sweet glucose water my mouth and throat cannot take it feel something mint and poke feel itchy🤦🏽‍♀️. 

I had to drink 300 ml and bare those not comfortable in my mouth. The test start I had to breath in and blow all on that blue thing. The funny thing 2 test I did wrong way because the nurses don’t know how to example it how to blow it 🤣. While any way the rest of the test I blow the right way. 

After all the test done so go pay bill, Alhamdulillah the payment settle by my family social thing. So after that go down find food while walking to search what food to eat after fasting mode. 

So suddenly I saw something like kopitiam shop, while stepping inside the shop suddenly my body inner felt cold sweat and trying my best to control it. So I still focus order my chicken rice lemon still bare it the panic feeling very cold and scary. While carry the tray with shaking hand i still try my best to control it. So I walk to my nearest empty table and put my food on table and again drag myself to buy drink too. 

While order my hand and body still shaking people saw it but they just think I’m fine hehe. Once my drink ready i drag myself again to my table and start think who to call, so i try call zali my tiktok fren, but too bad no pickup. I try think again my next one no choice boy my tiktok fren tru telegram. Lucky he free that time if not i no idea how i want to focus eat and there already. Thank you so much Bro Boy for during this period. I got think of call my girl but i know she will bz or go out hehe. If call my adik he might be working too. My parents i won’t call scared they panic too. I only call them when i really need to admit hospital. Now I reached home and eating my sweet potato expensive but lucky nice. I want to take pic, but forget because ate half way already🤣.  Alright that’s all for today update see you all again. 

The End..

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#sibosupport  #sibofriendly #sibosuccess #sibosuccessplan #sibosucessstories​​​​​​​​

#sibosupport #sibofriendly #ibsexercise #ibsfood #sibophasetwodiet #sibophasetwo #sibolife #lifewithsibo #bacterialovergrowth #sibodiet #biphasic​​​​​​​​

#sibotreatment #hydrogensibo #methanesibo #sibofoods #sibosystems #sibosucks #sibotips #sibonaturopath #healingsibo #sibosaveourselves #sibosos #sibo #sibosucessstories #sibohealth

Anyone miss me?

 Hi everyone who still want to read my story, give me sometime to share what had happened since mid Jan to July👌. During Mid January as normal our every year Chinese New Year Ohana staycation. This time we checked in Trove JB, access all easy for book grab to go whichever place we want. 

Our itinerary my god brother will plan it for shopping, explore foodie and massage their body. One of the day sure I will stay in hotel alone and bedrest due of my cramp and headache. So the tv sound accompany me and my hp plus wifi or data for me to distract my boring mode and pain too. 

End January Story:Reunion Mirc

Hi bro Kriz, i not sure u all heard of mirc room Sungai. Actually I know him from another room RadioMelayu gitu. We last mins meet up for awhile only. Anyway nevermind I will just add in after meet him a few week or a month later he bring me to meet the rest of the clanz. Later I will find those pics keke. Our next gathering with big family will be this 12 August my plan will bring my mum too because she my nurse and someone I will feel secured.

Feb Story: This year special for me.

I present myself with bought my fav Newboyz concert tickets at KL and also for this birthday trip and for my girl shopping too. As usual sure one of the day I will bedrest again before going back SG. As for the concert happened 10 Feb, while my birthday 11 feb I went to meet my msia sister for awhile that my first time meet tiktok friend. We chat2 at starbuck until midnight and continue again we gosip2 at hotel lobby. 

March and April Story: 

My condition became worst susah datang, every night I have to distract my globus sensation feeling and tight chest pain feeling. Every night scared to sleep due of scared to close eyes and die. Sometime I ate my anxiety/depress medicine, but once I consume it i became another person you know those drug addict feeling when they cannot get their bla2 will feel cold and anger right. It just mine no anger only feel high, cold and thirsty keep want to like bite my lips. So i only consume it if my bodypain and mental cannot take it already. 

March period focus on my small selling business essential item, until i open TT just for it.

April Story: 

Hm busy with my medical check up, busy with fasting month job new duty. We went to Jb for our Raya shopping this year all complete for me n my girl. We loved to go JB because of angsana every year ramadan food🤣. 

Here our Raya 2023 pics: 

Alhamdulillah I still close with my ex family that lil boy replaced his uncle badd. He made us happy again🤗. The center raya pics that’s my Ohana the one that will send me to grave one day. 

May Story: 

Again my condition down have to go IBS test, Gerd test. All this will be for July coming already. Doctor gave me fybergel n forlax but it seem never works for my constipation too. So i only eat another small pic medicine that what made me fart easily at least my bloated cool down little bit. Oh ya forgot we did chalet bonding during Mother day and my elder brother birthday period. Well I loved the bbq food part, but i cannot help much because easily cramp if stand and sit too long so in the end back to chalet room at level 2. We loved the wild2 wet bonding even with the ☀️ day no choice if rain our tickets will be wasted. 

June Story: 

My fav Mr T came SG for expo event. This period my work attendance not good already, so i msg my boss have something to talk things out. So the next day she called me so we shoulder to cry I even talk about get rental house for myself and girl she said i make the right decision if once my girl start to work already full time very hard already. Im blessed to have my boss understand me. Without her and Allah willing i won’t be here for 9 years with my current job Alhamdulillah. During this month i more up and down visit polyclinic for blood test and referral to any hospital that can get fast appointment. 

July Story: 

Recently I easily felt pain on my center area and all the breast area so I decide already to do Mammograms and yes I done it already so now waiting for result. First experienced as normal my pain level not high so definitely I shout 2 time keke. No 3 n 4 I cool down by breathing and close eyes for bare it. Imagine that thing need to pressure down it 🤣. Oh ya I forgot to add my beloved aunt back to Allah after all her pain journey suddenly happened just like that. So to whoever out there please eat healthy food, drink and exercise too. Every year or 6 month those have pain eyes or pain foot and leg please go check up. 

My foot leg “KO” already the arch going to be flat. My eyes no need to say degree too high until I cannot add in already wait headache.About the eye if u feel blur already or headache pls go check up it never ever force urself keep said you will be fine 👌. Before I end my story, If those ask me what happened to me just remember this gerd and anxiety they feed each other and I have to live with it not easy but have too. As for my mental issue i also need to live with it, but those want to be my friend i will became selective person already those i scared or feel sensitive i will avoid it of course I sad, but no choice i don’t want to hurt anyone so i just hurt myself and be lonely so called play safe. 

 The End..