On Friday, while on way to work by MRT, something happened to me. If I not wrong the anxiety feeling attack me after Clementi Station. Actually first i suddenly had headache and hard to breath. First I try control it by just like open the mask little bit still same I felt so hard than I recite some doa in my heart and kept talk to with my inner I must over come it no matter what because I at public don’t want to make any drama at here.
So I just kept waiting until Outram Park Station, I still felt hard to breathing and heartbeat damn fast. My eyes start to feel scary already all like became dark in my visualation I don’t know how to explain it not dark like no light at all it just half darkness. Hm I cut the story when come to stand up and go out I still felt giddy and like flying again no choice I keep fight it. Imagine that giddy plus and flying feeling while taking escalator it can be danger for myself too haha. Again no choice fight it I told myself I need to work so many thing need to be done.
So I board Mrt to Chinatown, my condition still same so i think of go buy drink again still same fight again keep walking until reached my work place, I went to tap in attendance than switch on computer and took my pail go toilet wash my face until I felt ok than back to office and start my work. Again cut my story, I just did my sorting box thing for 4hrs plus distraction with music used airpod so in the end that situation went off slowly. But too bad after my job done it start again no idea why too that’s why I decide took cab instead of MRT due of scared it will happened again. Nowdays I hard to sleep after ate my painkiller pill for my opt pain, it made me keep go toilet on off. Nowdays more on manual detox, but again not easy too. Anyway this Monday will be my first zoom with my mental doc, i still cannot imagine how much it will be. I will stop my story here and will update again about my first zoom with doc soon.
The End..
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