Unexpected March..

Here I came back again for my life update, as usual I will start with happy stories first.
Well I cannot remember when my adik Hamzah bought for me Dato CT concert tour tickets. Well of course happy and stress thinking can I pay him back his money. Overall yes I did paid him back on time before the real date event happened. I love all her song she singing, sit area perfect only those beside me not sanguine personality they more focus record video keke. So I just enjoying by wave my handphone with small light and sing together.


Here come my sad story because I not perfect, with my condition that lack of confident and easily panic attack i will suddenly over thinking just in one second and that thing very hard to controlling myself. It actually very hard for me to cool down it because those anger word all inside my head but i will never said it out due of scared anything more bad thing will happened.

Well here my weakness
*someone very slow pace in whatever thing I had to do. I ate slow, walk slow, to decide something also slow. I cannot multitask to make all perfect, i need to double triple check than i feel ease.

*studies I will fail or just pass

*no matter how messy my place in the morning, but once before leave my work place I make sure all very just nice in place. As for the box I really don’t know where to put already because really no space. My room yes messy, but again i still try my best to clear whatever i can.

*chronic constipation
*mild asthma, tummy cramp
*my body part like not strong
*latest my left eye maybe the nerve area
*hate medicine that call pills still prefer a liquid medicine


Now the stress come, for now i just tawakal whatever going happen for these job thing just hope all will be fine. Like say there will be mistake i will give up if i have too. Than if really i no job the thing  i want to do will be go small lesson religion class once all complete than i will start all my work journey again. Again i repeat im someone if want to do something i only focus on 1 thing only.

Im actually someone that if can want to explore and learn alot of thing but too bad i really cannot something sure bad thing will happen.

My list that i want to learn
*basic religion class
*basic sewing
*basic baking
*basic facebook marketing
*basic learn vocal how to sing, because when i stress i love to sing
*basic piano
*basic learn how to do video live so that i can sell my item

All these make me stop due of my condition and money.

Now talk about love story, or yes the more my girl growing i feel lonely well thats normal.
Why i never find partner, because actually my heart have someone already and thats call one side love only well that doesn’t matter for me because i also never disturb the person or even desprate with the person when the time to let go than it will. For now i just focus work and do my best collect my cpf to grow it just to get a house. Plus i always think with my condition do i deserve to be love by someone. I really scared the love story will be half way again yes i really damn scared. Im someone once i fall in love everything will be on the person only.