Let it out..

Eh hi everyone im back again. On 17 May I and ex went again for mediation for child maintainance. Guess what he again ego don't want to pay $ for his own daughter. We being debating inside the room from 2pm to 4pm. My plan actually want to try top up more little bit and the outstanding balance thats all. Too bad he insist cannot afford and even dare me to let him take our girl from my side. I said cannot she don't want you already because you break her heart too much already.

 My mistake for that day I should take unpaid for my work, really never expect he want to drag it until nearly 4pm wasted my time just for those stupid debating ok fine nevermind I gave him chance since his leg one side injured so no money and work job scope light duty and his money low too. 

He advantage it give chance to just maintain the $250 and the two month payment outstanding pay slowly as long money go in. Haiz guess what he never put in as what it should be only $70 plus you all tell me what i should said kena again right. 

Well ok fine the following month he put in $40 plus getting lesser, the next following month suddenly zero hm.. Why ok i still think positive maybe these time the wife give birth perhaps so again no $ to put in. Someone ever told me his wife pregnant so i guess so lol.

Now the reason why i never go report first tired of go report again $1 or $2.

My time wasted up and down and the last one i scared with my low income right now i cannot afford to support my own daughter and the truth all these while my parent's the one help me alot on for their only grandchild. Do you know the feeling paiseh everyday with them even they my own blood it just i felt paiseh really paiseh so hard to explain. 

Well my salary for dini outing only when she went out with me the whole day or even short staycation,her shopping and watch movie. Everyday i sure stress my brain ask me to fight him back while my heart no even i damn hurt. The most important thing i don't want because of all these fight in the end we lost our own child and she mine only child i had. She mine miracle daughter, she mine strength and weakness too. 

Talking about my sickness well i just don't want it to be worst or more complicated, i just accepted until i close my eyes. I have very slow digestion movement, my nerve like weak so i easily  felt fatigue. No matter how i drink many water in the end other sickness attack me so end up i have to bare 2 things at a time.