I don’t know how to start it, but here it goes oh no it August the most I start to hate it once after national day week I knew it that 27 and 28 sure have to go tru it. And again my heart damn very sad not because of i cannot forgot X it just the date really ever being special before and even the date also we sold our own family house too. I miss my old house the messy and neat, now I no idea how the house look like. Oh ya I always have the question mark why X still never find his daughter and family seriously I don’t know until when it will be is it until his mum close eyes than he will start to regret or never at all. And the other thing maintanance too low for his daughter actually. May I have the strength to start fight for the right for now I still cool because he still have to pay the old debts.
Yes all this while I have being controlling myself not to find him but again until when. He is someone that expect people come to him and ask forgiven not the other way I also don’t know what to say he ego or scared wife as usual always ???
Sometime I ask Allah why I always want to think all this can i delete it why so difficult why I always want to care for others but not my ownself ??? Don’t ask me I also don’t have the answer it just me.
If I told my family about how I felt last 2 days they sure shake head or maybe will said I haven’t move on. Yes I haven’t move on where it call love relationship because i have no confident in myself im looking for someone that can accept whom i am someone that have softheart and alot weakness plus can accept those i can cook and confident it will be nice and that will be western food🤣 malay food simple can those heavy I will only can make it if have some help if alone of course I cannot. Clean house i know can if have $ for those glove and wipe for my sensitive skins. Again all this weakness not I want it i just have to accept it and live with it until close eyes.
Allah have gave me alot weakness sickness test all these good for me to learn to be patience person. Anyway from young I have never scold Allah about it, but i just felt guilty and useless with my parents had to look after me always sick from baby until I became a mum of 1 teenage girl. No matter what of course I love them until felt like don’t know how to repay them back. The most I can do only pray they will stay healthy fit and live longer until can see my girl settledown and my small bro settledown. Ok lah I will stop at here to be continue another story next time.
The End...
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